Helping Is Healing

John 13:7 Jesus replied, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.”

On July 17, 2022, we woke up to a sunrise that changed our lives forever, not just ours, but our entire family’s. We had planned our future around being a family of four, and in a single day, we became a family of three. We often tell people that the hardest question to answer now is, “How many children do you have?” or “Do you have other children?” when they meet or know about Sullivan, our youngest.

We all go through dark days, some longer than others. Fear can paralyze you, it can present a giant mountain that seems to be immovable in your life.

Many of us reflect and ask ourselves, What is the purpose of our lives?

If you know the song Scars by I Am They, you understand this feeling. Looking back from the other side now, we can see with open eyes and a new perspective that our deepest pain and darkest days drew us closer to God. Our wounds have become stories He is using not only to heal us, but also to help others through Austin’s story.

We would be lying if we said we are the same people after going through the uncharted waters with Austin's life, we had no roadmap, we had no guidance, not even the doctors could tell us what was next. A lot of times, we were helpless.

He gave us purpose through Austin's short story! Fear restrained us, but now we choose not to hide our scars. People share scars that parallel our own, but healing comes with telling your story, understanding the struggles of others, and walking through both trial and triumph.

The 1st step is to see things for what they're worth and to look for the seed of good in every situation. Finding the good in Austin's death is extremely difficult at times, but we've found that peace through the stories we share and the good we try to do through Austin 1st.

We’ve learned something powerful on this journey: When we help others, we heal too. Anthony & Lindsey Terling

The holiday season looks different when you’ve walked through deep loss. For us, as the founders of the Austin 1st Foundation, Thanksgiving and Christmas carry the memory of our son, Austin, whose rare disease journey reshaped our lives forever. His strength, his fight, and his joy, even in the darkest moments, became the heartbeat and light behind everything we do.

Thanksgiving and Christmas are times that fill our hearts with warmth and reflection. It’s not just about the good food, the lights or the gifts. It’s about the spirit of thankfulness and giving, a feeling that connects us all, especially during the holiday season. When we think about meanings of both holidays, we realize it’s about gratitude, reaching out, creating joy, and making a difference in the lives of others. For us, it was a feeling of hope and normalcy we would feel in the early days of Austin's life.

Why just the early days? Well, as the years got closer to the end of his life, the challenges of traveling with him were tough. The risks vs. the rewards weren't enough to allow our family to travel together to enjoy the holidays together. "For several years, Lindsey would stay behind at our house in Auburn while I would take Sullivan with me to see the family for Thanksgiving or Christmas." Anthony

The final Christmas with Austin here, we celebrated as a family at our house in Auburn. We are forever grateful to our family for making that major change in our normal traditions.

Where It All Began

Austin’s 1st Christmas started with a simple desire: to honor our little boy during a season that felt heavier than we could put into words. In those early conversations, we kept coming back to a place that had meant so much to us during Austin’s life, Children’s Hospital of Alabama.

Austin's 1st Christmas - 2013

Christmas of 2015, we were sitting in the pediatric ICU of Children's Hospital with Austin and we received a present from the Sugar Plum Shop. As we learned more about this annual project, we made the decision that this would become our way of giving back to the people that supported us and the families we know the feeling of their journey with a medically fragile child.

The Sugar Plum Shop is a great program that gives parents of hospitalized children the chance to select Christmas gifts for their entire family at no cost, allowing them to feel the joy of giving even while navigating the stress and fear of a hospital stay. We remembered what it felt like to spend holidays inside hospital walls. We remembered the hope for some sense of normal.

What began with a few gifts selected from the shop’s wish list has grown into something much bigger than we ever imagined, because of people like you reading this blog and companies and faith-based organizations that have believed in our mission!

A Tradition Rooted in Giving

Each year, Austin’s 1st Christmas has grown into a true community effort. People from all over join us to stock the Sugar Plum Shop with toys, books, games, clothing, comfort items, and everything in between.

Supporting the Sugar Plum Shop has become our way of giving back to families who are walking a path we understand deeply. We know the weight they’re carrying. We know how hard the holidays can feel. And we know how much it matters when someone shows up with love during the toughest season of your life.

But behind all of this giving is something more.

This tradition is healing for us. Helping others gives us a way to carry Austin’s spirit into the world, his joy, his smile, his light. Every year, we feel him in the middle of this work.

Healing Happens on Both Sides

We’ve learned something powerful on this journey: When we help others, we heal too.

And when people help us help others, they often find healing in their own lives.

We’ve heard so many positive stories from supporters who are walking through grief, families carrying heavy memories of their own hospital stays, and people facing hard chapters they rarely talk about. They tell us that giving through Austin’s 1st Christmas or giving to another cause makes them happy.....and sometimes we just need a little joy in our lives, even if it is for a small moment in time. It brings them peace.

This mission has become a place where healing meets healing, ours, theirs, and the families we serve at Children’s.

Embracing Kindness: Why It Matters

Every year, the holiday season reminds us of the power of kindness. It’s a chance to pause and think about those who might be struggling, especially families affected by rare diseases. These families face challenges that many of us can hardly imagine. The holidays can be a difficult time for them, but it’s also an opportunity for us to step in and offer support.

We are about creating a community of care and hope. When we come together to support research funding and expand services for affected families, we honor the legacy of those who inspire us.

A1F is also are creating awareness in multiple ways, including in the classroom with the youngest of givers. Kelly Jarrett, Austin's Aunt and a longtime educator, has created an annual classroom based Austin's 1st Christmas event for Polo Ridge Elementary in Charlotte, North Carolina. This annual event will continue to expand through the K-12 schools in Charlotte and beyond.

Why should you care? Because every small act of generosity adds up. It brings light to families who need it most. It fuels research at OHSU, Children's Hospitals across the nation, UAB, and many other places. This research can change lives, maybe someone you know or even yours. And it builds a future where no one feels alone, even if your disease is only known in 45 others across the world, like Austin's disease.

It provides hope!

How to Get Involved

How You Can Make This Holiday Season Meaningful

This holiday season, we encourage you to embrace the spirit of giving in a way that feels authentic and impactful. Whether it’s through donations, volunteering, or simply spreading awareness, your actions matter.

Together, we can honor Austin’s legacy and bring light to families affected by rare diseases.

Happy Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas from the Terling's!